As women, we grow up hearing all about the roles we will someday take on: the dutiful daughter, the supportive wife, the loving mother. And while we are often proud to step into each of these roles, something unexpected can happen along the way. We might look in the mirror and realize we are not sure where we went. In the layers of responsibilities and roles, Was the woman we knew so well gone in some way?
It is a question I’ve asked myself more than once, and I know I am not alone. For many of us, the journey of becoming the mom and the wife feels fulfilling and purposeful, but it also feels a little like a quiet disappearing act. Who were we before we became the keeper of everyone else’s needs, the architect of everyone else’s happiness?
So, who was I? I think back to when I felt most like me. I was a girl with dreams, with hobbies, with a spark that didn’t depend on anyone else. I had ambitions, small and big, and the freedom to explore them. But as life moved forward, I layered on the roles: daughter, wife, mother... each adding love, complexity, and even beauty, but also sometimes making it harder to recognize myself.
Somewhere in between packing lunches, being a partner, and handling family obligations, we can reclaim the little pieces of who we were. Sometimes it is the small moments, like revisiting an old passion or hobby, even if it is just for a few minutes. Other times, it is bigger choices, like setting aside time or space that’s ours alone, to explore, to rest, to be.
If you are reading this and wondering where you went, know that you are not alone, and that the woman you were is still there; she might just need a little time and space to emerge. Remember, the roles you carry are just parts of the whole. You are still in there, underneath the layers, waiting to be seen. So, let us give ourselves permission to peel back those layers every now and then, and to rediscover the parts of us that make us.
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