To My Daughter, As You Turn 20: A Letter From My Heart

Twenty years ago, I held you for the first time — tiny, warm, and already the fiercest beat in my heart. Though you were my second child, there was nothing second about the pride and joy I felt. You came into my world like a song I hadn’t known I needed — soft, powerful, and unforgettable.

When some whispered, “Oh, it’s a girl,” as if that were somehow less, I stood taller, steadier — “Yes,” I said. “It is my girl.” Because I knew. I knew the fire you carried. I knew the strength you’d grow into. And I knew the privilege it was to raise a girl like you.

I named you Yashas, which means the conqueror of fame — and you have lived up to every letter of that name. In your quiet strength and in your bold leaps, in the way you carry yourself and in the way others are drawn to your light — you’ve already left your mark. And this is only the beginning.

Every time you were hurt, it was as if my soul cracked quietly. Your wounds were mine; your fears became my battles. I wiped away more than just tears — I wiped away doubts, shadows, and the noise that tried to tell you, you weren’t enough. You always were. You always are.

When you moved away to a new city, I pretended to be brave. But letting go was harder than I let on. I found comfort in the little things — your calls, your voice notes, the way you still check on my day. Each small connection became my anchor.

Today, as you turn 20, I want you to know this:

Fear nothing. The world is wide, and you are ready. Live your life with your arms open and your eyes clear. Love deeply, but never lose yourself in anyone or anything. Your emotions are valid, but don’t let them hold you back from greatness.

You are more than I ever dreamed — independent, kind, bold. And you’re just getting started.

Just for You!

You came with stars tucked in your smile,
With dreams that danced across each mile.
A heart so fierce, a spirit free,
You are, and always will be — me.

The world may twist, the winds may turn,
But in your eyes, the fires burn.
So soar, my girl, and claim your skies,
You were always meant to rise.

Go ahead — leap, laugh, explore. And if the world ever feels too much, remember you’ll always have a place where you are loved without question — in my heart, forever.

Happy 20th, my girl.

With all my love,
Amma

A Journey of 2600 Kms

From Stranded to Strong

Today marks another special day in our lives. I remember a time when we were stranded in the middle of everything, with nothing in our hands—credit card bills to pay, loans to clear, a toddler in tow, and a family full of hopes. Nothing seemed to favour us. And it was at that moment that we made a bold decision. We leaped, traveling 2,600 kilometres away, to build a home and start anew.

The heat, the desert, the culture, the food, the speed of life, and the people—all were so different, yet so welcoming. I can still hear my husband saying, “This is temporary, just 2-3 years, until we have a few things sorted"

But here we are, 24 years later, counting the days until we decide to travel back, to return to our motherland and call it a home. It's a journey that has brought us to where we are today, but there’s still a part of us that calls our homeland home.

I owe my life to this land; it’s true.

Oman, You Shaped Me

Through thick and thin, this country has shaped me, made me strong through and through. 

Through rough weather and skies that often turn grey, 

I’ve found that genuine hearts light the way.

Bottled water in vast deserts,

Yet an oasis of kindness in every contrast.

Speeding cars; the roads are alive,
But paced-out choices have helped me thrive.

A home away from home, it’s clear, 
Oman, you’re where my heart draws near.

A Heartfelt Thank You

To the people I have met on this journey, your kindness, support, and encouragement have made it all worth living. Each one of you have played a part in shaping our experience and making a foreign land feel like home. Whether it was a shared meal, a conversation that lasted for hours, or a simple gesture of goodwill, I am forever grateful for your presence in our lives.

And to my children, thank you for standing by us through every decision, every challenge, and every change. Your resilience, understanding, and love have been a constant source of strength. I hope that one day you’ll look back at this journey with pride, knowing how much we all grew together and how much you helped shape this chapter of our story.

  

Why Me?

I have always wondered—why me? 

Why does my path seem filled with more hurdles to jump, rivers to cross, and battles to win? Why does it feel like a challenge arises every time I get comfortable, forcing me to fight once more? I used to believe it was because the universe had somehow overlooked me, that the supreme power I trusted had chosen to love me less. 

I watched others seemingly glide through life with ease while I struggled, facing storm after storm. It felt unfair. It felt exhausting. And the question echoed in my mind repeatedly—why me? 

But then, as time passed and I continued to fight, I started to see things differently. Every battle I faced taught me something new. Some struggles were necessary; they pushed me, shaped me, and refined me. Others, I realized, were not worth my energy. Not every fight needed my sword, not every argument needed my voice, and not every storm required my attention. 

That’s when it finally hit me—I wasn’t being loved less. I was being loved more. 

I was being strengthened, not punished. The hurdles weren’t there to stop me but to teach me how to jump higher. The rivers weren’t meant to drown me but to show me how to swim. The battles weren’t signs of my weakness but proof of my strength. 

I was being prepared for something greater. 

Now, when life throws another challenge my way, I don’t ask, Why me? Instead, I whisper, Try me. Every challenge was a lesson, every setback a redirection, every battle a refining fire. The struggles weren’t to break me but to build me. They were signs that I was chosen to grow, to lead, to inspire. 

So, I face my battles with a new perspective. I no longer see them as burdens but as blessings in disguise. Because I know that through every challenge, I am being moulded into the person I was meant to be. 

And now, I know—I am loved more.

  

Daughter, Mother, and Wife—Did I Lose Myself?

 As women, we grow up hearing all about the roles we will someday take on: the dutiful daughter, the supportive wife, the loving mother. And while we are often proud to step into each of these roles, something unexpected can happen along the way. We might look in the mirror and realize we are not sure where we went. In the layers of responsibilities and roles, Was the woman we knew so well gone in some way?

It is a question I’ve asked myself more than once, and I know I am not alone. For many of us, the journey of becoming the mom and the wife feels fulfilling and purposeful, but it also feels a little like a quiet disappearing act. Who were we before we became the keeper of everyone else’s needs, the architect of everyone else’s happiness?

 So, who was I? I think back to when I felt most like me. I was a girl with dreams, with hobbies, with a spark that didn’t depend on anyone else. I had ambitions, small and big, and the freedom to explore them. But as life moved forward, I layered on the roles: daughter, wife, mother... each adding love, complexity, and even beauty, but also sometimes making it harder to recognize myself.

Somewhere in between packing lunches, being a partner, and handling family obligations, we can reclaim the little pieces of who we were. Sometimes it is the small moments, like revisiting an old passion or hobby, even if it is just for a few minutes. Other times, it is bigger choices, like setting aside time or space that’s ours alone, to explore, to rest, to be.

If you are reading this and wondering where you went, know that you are not alone, and that the woman you were is still there; she might just need a little time and space to emerge. Remember, the roles you carry are just parts of the whole. You are still in there, underneath the layers, waiting to be seen. So, let us give ourselves permission to peel back those layers every now and then, and to rediscover the parts of us that make us.

 

Morning Musings!

 

The sun in between those little mountains, the rain drops on my little garden and the distinct earthy smell that’s how my mornings began for several years. The calmness brought a new life every day with a promise to look ahead with power showering from all over, but somewhere I felt alone reminiscing all of this. 

A moment, a decision tilted and took a turn around changing my mornings to hearing cycle bells, pressure cookers, vendors on tricycles selling vegetables and fruits as early as 6 am and not to miss the women showing off their kolam (Rangoli) skills, and for a change, I felt busy with people around me and not alone!

The feeling of being empty in a serene ambience vs feeling like an empress in a chaotic town is the war I am fighting within myself. I am not confused, am I? Nope, my vision is clear to be with people, but can I get the ambience, please! I need to breathe fresh air, I need to see clean roads, I need to have tidy gardens, and I need my noise-free mornings back.

It is ok not to see the sky orange or pink, I need to see the sky, and that’s the point. Neighbouring walls, sewage pipelines, broken stairs, and smelly elevators have become a part of everyday sights. No, I am not complaining, I am worried for my tomorrow.

A workplace filled with political views and phoney associates who wait to see a downfall to put a face of compassion. I don’t have a voice to change the culture but to turn a deaf ear and get blind when I know my goal is not changing the environment but to swim the tide.

Whilst I debate if I need this employment, the thought of being between four walls gets me rushing to the muddled workplace, this is very unlike me. I am unlearning my habituated culture to learn something I never expected to.

Regular prayers, a job, phone calls away from friends, small family, planned outings, shopping and travelling, I have it all! So, what is troubling me? Is it the people I am being with or is it the people I am missing being with? My current state of mind says both and perhaps that is the truth

 

Corona Diaries- a write up in Black & White magazine

 The personal and professional changes

This pandemic has taken each one of us on a roller coaster ride. Whether one enjoys the ride or is petrified is a personal choice. A new perspective to existence is what I have accepted as the new normal. My take on this scenario is an opportunity to learn to survive crisis; every homemaker has learnt financial management, working from home has taught people teamwork, and home schooling was never a wrong option! 

A huge loss of personal space has become inevitable, irrespective of home or at the workplace; it is like when our family and colleagues become virtually claustrophobic. With the huge dip in most industries and where chopping of heads for economic survival is mandatory, being an independent consultant, my freelance job has taken a huge backseat. I see it as a phase to learn from the upcoming opportunities and believe that there is always light at the end of the tunnel!

The changes affecting the future 

Futuristically, I foresee a very welcoming change both, personally and professionally, with regard to the virtual life we lead today. People-building, teamwork, planning, execution and communication literally need no workplace or work time to bring efficiency. The lessened peer pressure, competitiveness and academic stress would hopefully ease the outlook on education. From fine arts to physical fitness, distant virtual learning has carved its niche by expanding the reach to a larger scale of learners. Learning to separate the workplace from home and vice versa would be a major take home for all of us. 

The aftermath of Covid 19

In the aftermath of the COVID-19 pandemic, the persisting threat of another unforeseen crisis would linger at the back of our minds. Personally, I would have to rebuild my clientele and bridge the months-long gap. Nevertheless, building confidence and promising resources will take time. The looming uncertainty and threat of unemployment could be a major concern for job seekers. Small scale industries and daily wage workers, including domestic helpers would need to be uplifted and provided with the platform of opportunity.

A difference in the war against the virus

A happy mind is a happy life. I ensure that there is a routine and time for family, work and friends. Quintessentially, I adhere to providing food for the mind, heart and body. Exploring the chef in me, the avid cinema-goer, the reader, the fitness novice and the most competitive player at family game nights are all optimistic traits I have rediscovered of myself through the course of this pandemic. It is necessary that we maintain an optimistic outlook, and make sure to create a healthy environment within ourselves and our surroundings. 

This pandemic has reminded us that we are, in fact, equipped to deal with a crisis. Natural calamities like earthquakes, floods and tsunamis in the past have instilled in us the alertness to prepare for any oncoming threat that COVID-19 has brought out in each one of us. Take a minute to be grateful for each new day, while praying for those who succumbed to this virus war. Healthcare providers, volunteers and frontline warriors deserve our gratitude and respect for emerging as the heroes of this battle.

Mentors or Mediators?

 

Matha Pitha Guru and God ... this is what we have been taught since childhood, however today’s generation says matha pitha google and god!! I’m only glad God remained constant and parents have become compulsion! What I question is the teacher factor hasn’t been playing a huge role or  hasn’t the teacher played as a role model? Well that’s unanswered now and hopefully not for a future. 

 

The Sanskrit word guru from gu (darkness), and ru (light) is someone who is regarded as having great knowledge, wisdom and authority, and use it to guide and mentor. Literally a mentor who shows others knowledge (light) and destroys ignorance (darkness). 

 

Educators are you mentors or mediators? 

 

Today’s world demands mentors to groom children and help them choose their paths carefully. Any child’s first hero is the dad and then it should be a teacher, ideally!! After a certain age students in high school or in college seek mentors to guide and shape them; and trust me that relationship is the most compassionate one for life long. A mentor is someone who reaches out to understand and comprehend the students struggles and still be there to shoulder selflessly. A guiding light throughout their lives! 

 

Are we missing mentors in today’s educators ? Is it that they are being mediators between the created syllabus and students. The concept of completing target lessons , challenge with the electronic gadgets because you are left with less choice. Today’s teachers go through targets, classrooms are war fields, promotions play an important role, pass percentage is primary, stressful hours of standing, harmful conversations in the staff room, comparison student scores, nepotism hasn’t spared education either!!

 

At an early age of 29, a genius in mathematics who could not afford to study at the Harvard, MIT because of his father's death and his financial condition, in spite of seeking sponsorship. Yes, I am talking about Anand Kumar the Indian mathematician known for his super 30! In 1992 Anand Kumar began living his dream  by renting a room for a Rs 500 and started the Ramanujan school of mathematics for the underprivileged children in preparing them for the most competent entrance exams. Between 2003-2017 he mentored 450 students out of which 391 passed out of IIT’s! also between 2008-2010 was his super 30 hatrick , all the 30 students cleared the IIT JEE in a row of three years.

 

Anand Kumar runs the institution with the tuition fee that he earns and the institute is not aided by the  government sectors or any  private agencies. Since 2002, in the month of May , the Ramanujan School of Mathematics has been conducting competitive tests to select 30 students for the Super 30 program. Although many students appear for the test, he selects 30 exceptional students from economically backward sections, mentors them for the most competitive JEE. After the success of Super 30 and its growing popularity, he received offers from private sectors both national and international for financial aid, but he refused it; Anand Kumar wants to sustain the Super 30 through his own efforts.

 

Are we missing this warmth, cohesion, passion and commitment and hence the mentors are gone astray? It is about time to change the perspective, about time to build confidence, about time to hold the experience high, about time to extend arms, about time to mend and mentor.

 

 

There are many more untold Anand Kumar’s, is there one in you ?!!