From holding her hand to letting her go

Motherhood begins the day you are given a title you didn’t know you were waiting for. For me, that title came from my first child—the one who made me a mother, the one who taught me what fierce love, endless worry, and immeasurable pride truly mean. From that moment on, my world shifted, quietly and forever.

I have watched her grow in layers—learning to sing before she learned to doubt herself, dancing through rooms and stages with equal joy, topping her academics with quiet determination, and developing a deep love for movies, stories, and the magic of watching worlds unfold on screen. In every phase, she carried a spark that said she knew who she was, even when the world was still figuring her out. As a mother, I stood close enough to guide, and far enough to let her become.

And then one day, she announced her man to the world.

It lands differently when your elder daughter chooses her life partner. It’s not just an announcement—it’s a message. A message that the little hand you once held to cross the road now knows which path it wants to walk. That the child you protected has grown into a woman who can choose, decide, and love on her own terms. There is pride, of course. There is joy. But there is also a gentle ache—the unmistakable realization that the “little one” no longer needs to be little.

This is not a loss. It is a beautiful arrival.

An arrival into a new chapter where she stands tall, rooted in who she is, and brave enough to share her heart with the world. And as her mother, I learn again—to let go just enough, to cheer a little louder from the sidelines, and to be grateful for the privilege of witnessing her becoming. 

Trips, Trials, Tears, Triumphs — Thank You, 2025

It’s that time of the year again — when we look back, sigh dramatically, laugh at the chaos, and still say a big thank you.

The year kicked off with a lovely family trip to Colombo, the kind where everyone smiles for photos but also argues about where to eat next. Then came work, waiting at the door like, “Welcome back!” My first-ever conference execution was equal parts adrenaline, panic, and pretending to know exactly what I was doing. Spoiler: I survived.

 And then I hit the big 5-0 ! with a surprise family trip to Bali, proving once again that my family can keep secrets much better than I can.

Work kept me busy with upskilling, trainings, workshops… basically everything except the one thing I still can’t master: remembering where I kept my glasses.

Meanwhile, at home, the emotional roller coaster peaked — watching the little one turn 20, start an internship at a de-addiction wellness centre, and move into a brand-new PG with new neighbours and no curfew. A proud, heart-bursting moment… followed immediately by me googling “How to stay calm when your child has no curfew” and wondering who approved this life update. Also, we still have enough chargers to power a small country.

The year stayed lively with festivals, events, and catching up with friends ,which mostly means discussing life, health, and next day’s to-do list over coffee.

A quiet trip with the husband gave me some quality “us-time,” and an unplanned trip to Georgia in September reminded me that spontaneous travel is still my love language.

Of course, life wasn’t all vacations and Instagram moments. There were tough days — critical hospitalisations of close family members that tested both strength and sanity. But balance arrived in its strange way: watching the little dame dance like pure sunshine on stage, and experiencing that emotional plot twist when your elder child becomes your mother, flies down, and insists you rest while she takes charge.

Our petite niece got engaged — yes, the same one who was in pig tails “just yesterday.” Time really has no manners.

And now, as 2025 wraps up, we’re ending it with a family trip that feels like hitting the home button after a long, messy, beautiful year — complete with one more milestone quietly checked off: meeting my elder daughter’s partner's family. Polite smiles, meaningful conversations, and that unmistakable moment of realizing how quickly life moves forward.

A year of drama, laughter, detours, deadlines, tears, and miracles.
A year that reminded me: life may not come with instructions, but it definitely comes with stories.

Overthinking: The Most Misunderstood Emotion

An honest reflection on how feeling deeply is mistaken for thinking too much.

Somewhere along the way, “overthinking” became a label for people who care too much.
If you worry about someone, you’re overthinking.
If you plan ahead or imagine outcomes, you’re overthinking.
If you address someone else’s concern or speak your mind — politely, even — you’re overthinking.

I’ve been branded with that word too often, and frankly, I’m tired of it.

Because what they call overthinking often comes from empathy — not anxiety. It’s not that I want to complicate things; it’s that I feel responsible, aware, and connected. I see patterns, consequences, and emotions that others might miss. That doesn’t make me weak or dramatic — it makes me human.

Yes, I am emotional. I’m not always practical. I can’t “take things lightly” or separate myself from what matters to me. I process, I reflect, and sometimes I replay moments in my mind until I understand them. And that’s okay.

If caring deeply makes me an overthinker, then I’ll wear that title proudly.
Because overthinking is often overfeeling, and feeling deeply is not a flaw — it’s a strength. It means I notice, I listen, I remember.

So before you call someone an overthinker, try walking in their shoes for a day. Feel the intensity of their empathy, the honesty of their words, the sincerity behind their worry. You might realize they’re not overthinking at all — they’re simply thinking enough.

Reflection

Maybe “overthinking” is just another word for thinking with your heart.
We live in a world that glorifies logic and speed, where emotions are seen as inefficiencies. But imagine how different things would be if more people paused, pondered, and cared a little extra.

The truth is, we need overthinkers — the ones who question, care, and connect deeply. They are the emotional anchors in a world that often drifts too fast.

So the next time someone calls you an overthinker, smile. You’re not the problem.
You’re the reminder that thoughtfulness still exists.

Written from the heart of someone who has finally made peace with feeling deeply — and learnt that empathy, even when misunderstood, is still a gift.

To My Daughter, As You Turn 20: A Letter From My Heart

Twenty years ago, I held you for the first time — tiny, warm, and already the fiercest beat in my heart. Though you were my second child, there was nothing second about the pride and joy I felt. You came into my world like a song I hadn’t known I needed — soft, powerful, and unforgettable.

When some whispered, “Oh, it’s a girl,” as if that were somehow less, I stood taller, steadier — “Yes,” I said. “It is my girl.” Because I knew. I knew the fire you carried. I knew the strength you’d grow into. And I knew the privilege it was to raise a girl like you.

I named you Yashas, which means the conqueror of fame — and you have lived up to every letter of that name. In your quiet strength and in your bold leaps, in the way you carry yourself and in the way others are drawn to your light — you’ve already left your mark. And this is only the beginning.

Every time you were hurt, it was as if my soul cracked quietly. Your wounds were mine; your fears became my battles. I wiped away more than just tears — I wiped away doubts, shadows, and the noise that tried to tell you, you weren’t enough. You always were. You always are.

When you moved away to a new city, I pretended to be brave. But letting go was harder than I let on. I found comfort in the little things — your calls, your voice notes, the way you still check on my day. Each small connection became my anchor.

Today, as you turn 20, I want you to know this:

Fear nothing. The world is wide, and you are ready. Live your life with your arms open and your eyes clear. Love deeply, but never lose yourself in anyone or anything. Your emotions are valid, but don’t let them hold you back from greatness.

You are more than I ever dreamed — independent, kind, bold. And you’re just getting started.

Just for You!

You came with stars tucked in your smile,
With dreams that danced across each mile.
A heart so fierce, a spirit free,
You are, and always will be — me.

The world may twist, the winds may turn,
But in your eyes, the fires burn.
So soar, my girl, and claim your skies,
You were always meant to rise.

Go ahead — leap, laugh, explore. And if the world ever feels too much, remember you’ll always have a place where you are loved without question — in my heart, forever.

Happy 20th, my girl.

With all my love,
Amma

A Journey of 2600 Kms

From Stranded to Strong

Today marks another special day in our lives. I remember a time when we were stranded in the middle of everything, with nothing in our hands—credit card bills to pay, loans to clear, a toddler in tow, and a family full of hopes. Nothing seemed to favour us. And it was at that moment that we made a bold decision. We leaped, traveling 2,600 kilometres away, to build a home and start anew.

The heat, the desert, the culture, the food, the speed of life, and the people—all were so different, yet so welcoming. I can still hear my husband saying, “This is temporary, just 2-3 years, until we have a few things sorted"

But here we are, 24 years later, counting the days until we decide to travel back, to return to our motherland and call it a home. It's a journey that has brought us to where we are today, but there’s still a part of us that calls our homeland home.

I owe my life to this land; it’s true.

Oman, You Shaped Me

Through thick and thin, this country has shaped me, made me strong through and through. 

Through rough weather and skies that often turn grey, 

I’ve found that genuine hearts light the way.

Bottled water in vast deserts,

Yet an oasis of kindness in every contrast.

Speeding cars; the roads are alive,
But paced-out choices have helped me thrive.

A home away from home, it’s clear, 
Oman, you’re where my heart draws near.

A Heartfelt Thank You

To the people I have met on this journey, your kindness, support, and encouragement have made it all worth living. Each one of you have played a part in shaping our experience and making a foreign land feel like home. Whether it was a shared meal, a conversation that lasted for hours, or a simple gesture of goodwill, I am forever grateful for your presence in our lives.

And to my children, thank you for standing by us through every decision, every challenge, and every change. Your resilience, understanding, and love have been a constant source of strength. I hope that one day you’ll look back at this journey with pride, knowing how much we all grew together and how much you helped shape this chapter of our story.

  

Why Me?

I have always wondered—why me? 

Why does my path seem filled with more hurdles to jump, rivers to cross, and battles to win? Why does it feel like a challenge arises every time I get comfortable, forcing me to fight once more? I used to believe it was because the universe had somehow overlooked me, that the supreme power I trusted had chosen to love me less. 

I watched others seemingly glide through life with ease while I struggled, facing storm after storm. It felt unfair. It felt exhausting. And the question echoed in my mind repeatedly—why me? 

But then, as time passed and I continued to fight, I started to see things differently. Every battle I faced taught me something new. Some struggles were necessary; they pushed me, shaped me, and refined me. Others, I realized, were not worth my energy. Not every fight needed my sword, not every argument needed my voice, and not every storm required my attention. 

That’s when it finally hit me—I wasn’t being loved less. I was being loved more. 

I was being strengthened, not punished. The hurdles weren’t there to stop me but to teach me how to jump higher. The rivers weren’t meant to drown me but to show me how to swim. The battles weren’t signs of my weakness but proof of my strength. 

I was being prepared for something greater. 

Now, when life throws another challenge my way, I don’t ask, Why me? Instead, I whisper, Try me. Every challenge was a lesson, every setback a redirection, every battle a refining fire. The struggles weren’t to break me but to build me. They were signs that I was chosen to grow, to lead, to inspire. 

So, I face my battles with a new perspective. I no longer see them as burdens but as blessings in disguise. Because I know that through every challenge, I am being moulded into the person I was meant to be. 

And now, I know—I am loved more.

  

Daughter, Mother, and Wife—Did I Lose Myself?

 As women, we grow up hearing all about the roles we will someday take on: the dutiful daughter, the supportive wife, the loving mother. And while we are often proud to step into each of these roles, something unexpected can happen along the way. We might look in the mirror and realize we are not sure where we went. In the layers of responsibilities and roles, Was the woman we knew so well gone in some way?

It is a question I’ve asked myself more than once, and I know I am not alone. For many of us, the journey of becoming the mom and the wife feels fulfilling and purposeful, but it also feels a little like a quiet disappearing act. Who were we before we became the keeper of everyone else’s needs, the architect of everyone else’s happiness?

 So, who was I? I think back to when I felt most like me. I was a girl with dreams, with hobbies, with a spark that didn’t depend on anyone else. I had ambitions, small and big, and the freedom to explore them. But as life moved forward, I layered on the roles: daughter, wife, mother... each adding love, complexity, and even beauty, but also sometimes making it harder to recognize myself.

Somewhere in between packing lunches, being a partner, and handling family obligations, we can reclaim the little pieces of who we were. Sometimes it is the small moments, like revisiting an old passion or hobby, even if it is just for a few minutes. Other times, it is bigger choices, like setting aside time or space that’s ours alone, to explore, to rest, to be.

If you are reading this and wondering where you went, know that you are not alone, and that the woman you were is still there; she might just need a little time and space to emerge. Remember, the roles you carry are just parts of the whole. You are still in there, underneath the layers, waiting to be seen. So, let us give ourselves permission to peel back those layers every now and then, and to rediscover the parts of us that make us.

 

Morning Musings!

 

The sun in between those little mountains, the rain drops on my little garden and the distinct earthy smell that’s how my mornings began for several years. The calmness brought a new life every day with a promise to look ahead with power showering from all over, but somewhere I felt alone reminiscing all of this. 

A moment, a decision tilted and took a turn around changing my mornings to hearing cycle bells, pressure cookers, vendors on tricycles selling vegetables and fruits as early as 6 am and not to miss the women showing off their kolam (Rangoli) skills, and for a change, I felt busy with people around me and not alone!

The feeling of being empty in a serene ambience vs feeling like an empress in a chaotic town is the war I am fighting within myself. I am not confused, am I? Nope, my vision is clear to be with people, but can I get the ambience, please! I need to breathe fresh air, I need to see clean roads, I need to have tidy gardens, and I need my noise-free mornings back.

It is ok not to see the sky orange or pink, I need to see the sky, and that’s the point. Neighbouring walls, sewage pipelines, broken stairs, and smelly elevators have become a part of everyday sights. No, I am not complaining, I am worried for my tomorrow.

A workplace filled with political views and phoney associates who wait to see a downfall to put a face of compassion. I don’t have a voice to change the culture but to turn a deaf ear and get blind when I know my goal is not changing the environment but to swim the tide.

Whilst I debate if I need this employment, the thought of being between four walls gets me rushing to the muddled workplace, this is very unlike me. I am unlearning my habituated culture to learn something I never expected to.

Regular prayers, a job, phone calls away from friends, small family, planned outings, shopping and travelling, I have it all! So, what is troubling me? Is it the people I am being with or is it the people I am missing being with? My current state of mind says both and perhaps that is the truth

 

Corona Diaries- a write up in Black & White magazine

 The personal and professional changes

This pandemic has taken each one of us on a roller coaster ride. Whether one enjoys the ride or is petrified is a personal choice. A new perspective to existence is what I have accepted as the new normal. My take on this scenario is an opportunity to learn to survive crisis; every homemaker has learnt financial management, working from home has taught people teamwork, and home schooling was never a wrong option! 

A huge loss of personal space has become inevitable, irrespective of home or at the workplace; it is like when our family and colleagues become virtually claustrophobic. With the huge dip in most industries and where chopping of heads for economic survival is mandatory, being an independent consultant, my freelance job has taken a huge backseat. I see it as a phase to learn from the upcoming opportunities and believe that there is always light at the end of the tunnel!

The changes affecting the future 

Futuristically, I foresee a very welcoming change both, personally and professionally, with regard to the virtual life we lead today. People-building, teamwork, planning, execution and communication literally need no workplace or work time to bring efficiency. The lessened peer pressure, competitiveness and academic stress would hopefully ease the outlook on education. From fine arts to physical fitness, distant virtual learning has carved its niche by expanding the reach to a larger scale of learners. Learning to separate the workplace from home and vice versa would be a major take home for all of us. 

The aftermath of Covid 19

In the aftermath of the COVID-19 pandemic, the persisting threat of another unforeseen crisis would linger at the back of our minds. Personally, I would have to rebuild my clientele and bridge the months-long gap. Nevertheless, building confidence and promising resources will take time. The looming uncertainty and threat of unemployment could be a major concern for job seekers. Small scale industries and daily wage workers, including domestic helpers would need to be uplifted and provided with the platform of opportunity.

A difference in the war against the virus

A happy mind is a happy life. I ensure that there is a routine and time for family, work and friends. Quintessentially, I adhere to providing food for the mind, heart and body. Exploring the chef in me, the avid cinema-goer, the reader, the fitness novice and the most competitive player at family game nights are all optimistic traits I have rediscovered of myself through the course of this pandemic. It is necessary that we maintain an optimistic outlook, and make sure to create a healthy environment within ourselves and our surroundings. 

This pandemic has reminded us that we are, in fact, equipped to deal with a crisis. Natural calamities like earthquakes, floods and tsunamis in the past have instilled in us the alertness to prepare for any oncoming threat that COVID-19 has brought out in each one of us. Take a minute to be grateful for each new day, while praying for those who succumbed to this virus war. Healthcare providers, volunteers and frontline warriors deserve our gratitude and respect for emerging as the heroes of this battle.

Mentors or Mediators?

 

Matha Pitha Guru and God ... this is what we have been taught since childhood, however today’s generation says matha pitha google and god!! I’m only glad God remained constant and parents have become compulsion! What I question is the teacher factor hasn’t been playing a huge role or  hasn’t the teacher played as a role model? Well that’s unanswered now and hopefully not for a future. 

 

The Sanskrit word guru from gu (darkness), and ru (light) is someone who is regarded as having great knowledge, wisdom and authority, and use it to guide and mentor. Literally a mentor who shows others knowledge (light) and destroys ignorance (darkness). 

 

Educators are you mentors or mediators? 

 

Today’s world demands mentors to groom children and help them choose their paths carefully. Any child’s first hero is the dad and then it should be a teacher, ideally!! After a certain age students in high school or in college seek mentors to guide and shape them; and trust me that relationship is the most compassionate one for life long. A mentor is someone who reaches out to understand and comprehend the students struggles and still be there to shoulder selflessly. A guiding light throughout their lives! 

 

Are we missing mentors in today’s educators ? Is it that they are being mediators between the created syllabus and students. The concept of completing target lessons , challenge with the electronic gadgets because you are left with less choice. Today’s teachers go through targets, classrooms are war fields, promotions play an important role, pass percentage is primary, stressful hours of standing, harmful conversations in the staff room, comparison student scores, nepotism hasn’t spared education either!!

 

At an early age of 29, a genius in mathematics who could not afford to study at the Harvard, MIT because of his father's death and his financial condition, in spite of seeking sponsorship. Yes, I am talking about Anand Kumar the Indian mathematician known for his super 30! In 1992 Anand Kumar began living his dream  by renting a room for a Rs 500 and started the Ramanujan school of mathematics for the underprivileged children in preparing them for the most competent entrance exams. Between 2003-2017 he mentored 450 students out of which 391 passed out of IIT’s! also between 2008-2010 was his super 30 hatrick , all the 30 students cleared the IIT JEE in a row of three years.

 

Anand Kumar runs the institution with the tuition fee that he earns and the institute is not aided by the  government sectors or any  private agencies. Since 2002, in the month of May , the Ramanujan School of Mathematics has been conducting competitive tests to select 30 students for the Super 30 program. Although many students appear for the test, he selects 30 exceptional students from economically backward sections, mentors them for the most competitive JEE. After the success of Super 30 and its growing popularity, he received offers from private sectors both national and international for financial aid, but he refused it; Anand Kumar wants to sustain the Super 30 through his own efforts.

 

Are we missing this warmth, cohesion, passion and commitment and hence the mentors are gone astray? It is about time to change the perspective, about time to build confidence, about time to hold the experience high, about time to extend arms, about time to mend and mentor.

 

 

There are many more untold Anand Kumar’s, is there one in you ?!! 

Begin Living

I've been chasing success in education, career, material goods, money, travel, and social status, all with the goal of sharing it with my family. But now I can't even share a piece of chocolate with my child, who is just four hours away. I can't travel the world, and I'm afraid to keep money at home. I'm worried about the downfall in the stock market, and I'm seeking help to sustain my funds. My hands hurt from keeping up my luxurious lifestyle. What have I achieved? I've yet to begin living.

I've been making and keeping friends my whole life. I haven't called many of them in over a year, but they still know me. Am I living with presumptions? Or am I over-judging my skills? Neither. I genuinely feel that people who value the real me wait for me at the best times and are with me during the worst. There are also those tag-alongs you can't do much about. They probably treat me as their punching or pumping bags!

The COVID-19 pandemic has forced schools and universities to switch to online learning. While there was once a fear of studying online, the pandemic has shown that distance learning is just as valid as traditional in-person learning. In fact, the pandemic has accelerated the adoption of online learning in all fields, including the performing arts, which have become performing media arts. The status of online learning is now highlighted on social media, where 50 or more screens are the norm. While online learning has its benefits, it also has its drawbacks. One drawback is that understanding and human touch take a back seat when pockets are filled untouched.

My mother's death taught me that no one is indispensable in this universe. Since then, I have kept my emotions in check and don't worry about what my status will be in a few years. Life teaches you only once. Chase the happier, more intelligent, and witty you! Life is too short to save up. It is more to spend and spread all that you have accumulated, be it wealth or wisdom!

A challenging year- 2019

2019, how did the year even pass? Wonder if I was even breathing !

Uff..what a challenging year it was, started the year with memories of mom and her first anniversary.

My child graduating high school, reality hit me hard. I am going to miss a good friend, laughter, gossip and my foodie partner. It was a tough phase to accept her graduating and migrating but loved the maturity and the way she handled the new environment.

To all mom's the little ones remain little forever, again it was transition period for me and her. She needed to take over what her elder sister did and at the same time remain my little ,monster. Life teaches you wonders when you are not even expecting it. She makes me wonder who the mum is! She is not little anymore.

Another jolt was when a dear friend moved back home, it was not easy to cope the void. I was worried if my travel diaries will get empty. Well, it is definitely not, we are in the best of spirits at all times.

Whether it was boredom or challenge, I decided to love myself ! of course when you have sisters who motivate and spread positive vibes its obvious to take it up as a challenge. Focus on diet, long walks, working out with gym mates, a new perspective on yoga... shaping up turned up to be interesting and exciting seeing the changes.

Festivals were not so much fun, had to keep my eyes off the sweets and savouries! However nothing stopped  Dad from sending his love,yeah kilograms of calorie filled goodies. And all his love couldn't stop me from trvaelling to see him! 

When sisters meet its always so much fun, but this time it was some serious planning ; Dad turned 80! Tremendous amount of planning and executing. Each one of us had a role to play and we did it happily. It was a great day with celebrities, dignitaries, friends and family. The decor to catering was exclusive , something mom would have loved to witness!   

Even before we stopped rejoicing the series of events of 2019 it was 2020 and another chapter began!

My Sunshine...

You are my sunshine
You are mine

Live a little more involved
Pray a little more loud 

Remarkable is your obedience
Remarks are on your laziness

Pull up your head longer
Push up your health stronger

Remember you are my hope
Learn to accept and cope

Standout as an example
Scope is always in ample

You are my moonlight
You are my guiding light 

My Child ! My Pride!

When the world doubted me

I wanted to run and flee

When the family questioned me

I wanted to ask for plea

When the love of my life didn’t see me

I wanted to kill my self in the sea

When the almighty decided to change my life

I wondered how it will change my sight

When I knew I had another soul growing

I felt the happiness in me overflowing

When I saw those little eyes gleaming

I knew my life was going to be beaming

When I named you Manasvini

I knew and saw you winning

When I saw you growing

I knew my mother was not going

When I see you now

I know there is something low

When you need me more

I know you are going to be home

When someone asked me what’s my pride

I didn’t doubt it’s none other than my child

When someone asked me to check on you

I didn’t doubt because it’s my child

When someone asked me if I needed help

I didn’t ask for as I have my pride, my joy, my belief, my child!!

ReplyForward

My Sole Soul!

Cold and rainy night, it was an ideal night for spicy pani puri and long drive and that’s exactly what we did on December 16th 2017. My phone rang and I could barely hear it with Shreya Ghoshal singing in the background. The music was turned off to answer the call from my elder sister, I wondered why she called at 11.10 pm, did she dial me by mistake or ??? A hundred thoughts pondering quickly I answered the call. 

I wish I hadn’t taken that call or I never heard her say that... my guiding light, the divine soul that kept me in her womb with aspirations was NO MORE! I shook in fear and assumed I misunderstood the voice or whatever my sister was saying. 

I didn’t want to hear cries around, I only wanted to hear MOM for one last time ... I gained courage to travel by the 1.40 am flight. Every time I felt friends have become family and it was so true that night. They were all there to shoulder me and took over in getting our bags packed to tickets booked. 

The worst 4 hour journey in my life, a heavy heart and a hope that I heard everything wrong and that MOM would give me a hug! She was layed down with huge garlands which were so aromatic, something that she loved. She looked so divine through the clean glass, she looked so happy resting in that cool glass coffin. My heart was pounding with hope that she would break the glass and wake up to see all her loved ones near her. Her toe nails well pedicured and polished with cherry red polish, her hair had no traces of grey and her eyebrows so well defined. Her diamonds glittered like never before and her big red bindhi looked as gorgeous as ever. 

AMMA... can I hear you one last time, one hug and that one line which you always said...naan irrukku bhayamyen ( why fear when I’m here) . Your memories will be cherished and your life will be celebrated. Will miss you at every walk of my life but I know you are watching me from above. I’m sure you are safe and making another world a happier place just like the one YOU made ours! 

Love you Amma...

Chakka... it’s 50!

A  bundle of 9 pounds joy was born on 13 December 1967.. I’m sure mom would have been the proudest seeing her baby boy!!

And today December 13 2017 stands  beside  me the big baby boy , the bundle of joy ... with pounds and pounds! 

Happy Birthday Honey! Loads and loads of wishes and love coming your way... 

It’s Chakka and many more to go😘

'Cos of you in me!!

By 24 I had it all, didn't know until criticism!

By 26, I had it all, didn't know it was 'cos of you!

Motherhood...'cos of you in me!

Held your hand and held back my tears, 'cos of you in me!

Turned back and looked beside, I continued the path, 'cos of you in me!

None to lean , none to hear, nothing stopped, 'cos of you in me!

Moved from hatred land to fairy land, 'cos of you in me!

Struggles made me weak, your smile made me strong, 'cos of you in me!

Every wack hurt me more, 'cos of you in me!

Each moment of giving up increased my perseverance to win, 'cos of you in me!

I thank God for keeping me alive, 'cos of you in me!!!

IT'S OKAY..CELEBRATE THEM!

Being a mother of teen girls I thought the challenge of answering the unanswered was endless. Least did I realize the answers were untold truth and not an unsolvable puzzle. These constant words from them “liberty is read more in books and not real” “art is not in my blood” "education pattern sucks" “I can’t” “I don’t” “it’s OK” “I hate it” etc. etc… were giving me thoughts on plunging deep into understanding the circumstances.

We speak liberty but hypocrisy takes over and then we justify and twist the facts of liberty to make our conscience happy. Shouldn’t we think of liberty as a vast segment for our teens to understand? Ideally we shouldn’t use words or phrases that may give them a string to cling on to negative thoughts. When we actually mean no harm.

Success is not all about perfection, let us succumb to that truth. Let our children make mistakes, fall and raise so that the unanswered get self realized. Threatening them of social problems, comparing them to siblings or friends of same age and many more parameters only make our child distant, if not in space I am sure they detach themselves mentally & morally.

Let us agree that teachers also make mistakes and friends not all times are helpful. I don’t suggest abusing any relationship or guidance, but let the child feel confident that YOU will remain at all times. Nothing comes out of force, but several things can be achieved through tasks, be a task master to your child and not a watch dog!

I often said this “I see you living my dream”,  I now feel it’s more a threat to my adolescent than an emotion I genuinely expressed. It is devastating to see them give up, it is extremely hard to accept failure, lets leave the reasons behind... Let them learn to enjoy failures too,  let us not only celebrate their success, let us learn to celebrate them!

2016… I have a special place for you!

Calling it a challenging year will summarize in a nutshell, but saying I was taught lessons will be quintessential!

The year began with my bestie and their family later leading to a fabulous 10 day trip to Istanbul with dearie, leaving Oman just the day after an explosion in ‘Ataturk’!!Most unforgettable trip it will be until the next!

With over 30 nights of mind boggling discussions on the home move, I must say it was the toughest decision after marriage! One wrong move and the game is over…this is what kept me awake before we moved location after 14 years of comfortable stay, lovable society, and supportive friends and well maintained home.

Children go forward to next levels, grown up girls and shivers in me when the little flower blossoms! And here comes reality in catching up with age and the mother in me…children and their safety tops the list, and so it did for me. Broke a leg saving my daughter’s, 6 weeks of casting, medicines, physiotherapy and realization of a lovable family.

Sweetest niece, charming nephews visit the broken leg aunt to cheer up! The fantastic 2 weeks of holiday…moments cherished for a lifetime. Challenging moments at work front with threats and moves. The boat started rocking but I stood stable… my almighty stood tall.

Daughters are a blessing especially mine, so true that! A joyous moment to see the Guru and Sishya take the stage at one time in home town with the blessings of family members. I couldn’t have asked for more.

After all the home town trips, friends gear up for a holiday trip…celebrating 18 years of togetherness, needless to say I would have been incomplete without my best half!! Thailand, a mysterious land as no one can guess all what it has to offer. One remarkable journey across the beautiful beaches of Thailand with extended family.

Festivals bring joy, celebrations at new home with contended stomachs and another year of pleasantness with friends and family, one couldn’t ask more in a foreign land.

When man proposes, God disposes!! I live to that! Decisions are firmed in choosing home to work. Indefinite ideas, suggestions from family, panic from friends on the stand!! ? Angels walk in and say I need to choose work for some more time…diversified industry, a mixed cultural environment, professional people and a new role…what more can be challenging. I must thank the supreme power who is shadowing me throughout.

Just when the year is getting over with multiple events, souls close to heart departs, endless happiness at the same time one more adds up…being home with family. A short holiday with sisters, pretty nieces and most handsome nephews. Giving the country the non-demonetization feeling with the shopping lists and eat outs. Plastic cards were heated up beyond!

Left with 2 more nights of this memorable year, a rewind was called for!

Shower the Power!!

I wondered what is mother power 

...today as a mother for a teen and a brat I can see my instincts taking lead and my reflexes swifts!! 

We can't see our children cry or go through pain, such agreeable emotions.

We try our best to get/give them all what they want or need and convince ourselves that they are happy and that's like super parenting!! 

Until recently I realized I was fooling myself with these beliefs. I realized when my super brat had tears rolling down her sweat filled face, looking at my fractured foot and pleading me to get well soon, I realized when my most lazy teen who didn't mind springing up every time I gestured to walk...I realized my health and happiness is theirs too. 

Times have changed and it is time I/we changed. Nothing materialistic can match  mothers power..shower the power!!